Hunting has a different purpose in everyone’s life who participates. It’s a journey that follows paths of emotions, experiences, successes, and failures. For some folks, hunting is a season of life to pass the time; an opportunity to slow down and enjoy its peaceful nature. To others, it’s that and much more. It’s a borderline obsession. I’ve tended to fall into the latter category.
I shot my first buck in 2008 with my trusty Fred Bear bow and arrow. During the first two hunting seasons of my youth, I’d been unsuccessful at tagging a whitetail sporting a set of headgear. All the while I was watching my friends and family tag their first bucks. While I was happy for them, it fanned the flame of desire to achieve my goal.
On the Friday of the first week in November, I’d typically have football practice after school. However, this week I was finished with enough time to grab my gear and head to the woods. I climbed in a stand only 100 yards from where my dad dropped me off. A half hour later, I released an arrow on a small 6 pointer less than 12 yards away.
I was elated with emotion; proud to show my buck to anyone who was willing to look. But as many can likely relate, the emotional heights of success tend to fade with time. Thus began a journey fueled by personal desire to seek more, bigger, and better. Each season thereafter consumed my mind and free time pursuing a buck that met those criteria. At the end of each achievement, I encountered the same process: height of success, fading contentment, and drive to pursue again.
I’ll never forget the first time I pulled the SD card from my trail camera and laid eyes on him; a magnificent 10 pointer with long tines and beams. His daylight frequency on camera encouraged me to quickly formulate a hunting plan. I never caught up to him that season, but I saw him in the flesh twice. Once was a Sunday after church during the archery season, another was on New Year’s Eve. I had filled my buck tag on the opening day of the rifle season and was out to shoot a doe when he revealed himself, alive and well after the PA rifle season. That’s when the obsession began.
For the next year, not a moment passed that didn’t involve my mind devising a plan to cross paths with this buck. Off season work involving food plots, waterholes, and treestands were a constant focus of time and effort. It all built up to its pinnacle on October 23, 2020 when this buck came in to 20 yards for a drink at the waterhole I placed that off-season, and I made a perfect shot! I don’t think I ever felt emotion that compared. The emotional high lasted longer than any other successful hunt in my life, but just like the rest of them, eventually that feeling faded. Now what?
There was a part of me that felt lost. I harvested a true monarch of a whitetail, something I thought I’d spend my lifetime chasing and never believed it would happen. Where was I going to go from here? I maintained the same path as before, however; things were different this time. My life was rapidly changing as I became a new dad, took on new responsibilities in my career, and balanced my schedule with my wife’s. I was losing something that was once on my side in the world of deer hunting – time.
My aggravation deepened as my unrealistic goals of more, bigger, and better were not so simple to obtain. My obsession created a division between loved ones in my life. I started to question if this passion of mine was becoming something toxic. It seemed the only way I could pursue success was through a narrow-minded, self-seeking focus. And yet, at no point in time was there lasting fulfillment when I’d reached the goal I had targeted. My joy began to fleet from the passion that I’ve valued for my entire life.
In a quest to find answers of hunting’s purpose in my life, I came across two pieces of scripture that stood out. First was II Timothy 1:9, which says, “(the power of God), 9who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began.” The second was Proverbs 3:5-6, which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your way acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Those words hit me like someone was trying to smack some sense into me.
I accepted Christ at a fairly young age as my personal Savior. Yet certain aspects of my life I continued to try and remain in control over. I’d allowed my passion for hunting, which was gifted from God, to cloud my judgement and mislead myself into believing my personal identity was tied to being successful. My purpose is not myself; my purpose is Jesus. My identity is a child of the one true God. Upon this reality sinking through my thick skull, I was disgusted with myself. Why has it taken me this long to allow the knowledge of Christ’s purpose for me to sink in and be applied in my life? I was comforted when God reminded me that He created time, not me. Timing is different for everyone. It’s part of the sanctification process when we declare our Salvation in Him.
So how does hunting fit into my life? I can’t say I’ve completely answered that question. However, through reading the books of Romans and I Corinthians, there are multiple cases where Paul discusses “spiritual gifts”. I believe this can be partially connected to the passions we have in our life. While the context in which Paul discusses spiritual gifts differs, a case can be made that the skills, talents, and passions God has gifted in our lives can be used as tools to glorify Him.
For my entire life I’ve viewed the end as the achievement. Once a goal was set in place, the trophy was found when the job was finished. Yet every single time the trophy at the end has always faded. The trophy is NOT the rack of the buck to be pursued, it’s the journey along the way. It’s learning how to use the skills, talents and abilities God has placed in our life to glorify and point other towards Him. It’s the people along the way that bless you, and the ones you’re able to share the gospel story.
Does this mean I’m going to start targeting the first legal buck when I hunt? Not a chance. It also does not mean that I feel equally proud of my first buck compared to my largest in the present day. But what both deer have in common is a story built by anticipation of pursuit, and equal elation at the peak of achievement. In both cases, the journey to get there meant the same thing. Both required time, patience, and new challenges to overcome. The process of getting there is still etched into my mind. Moving forward, I aim to make my hunting process a little different, by concentrating on how to use this passion God has gifted me for His purpose. Once again, I find myself acquiring knowledge. Hopefully this time I’ve also acquired a little wisdom to apply it.
